TNA Impact!

A while back I did a wishlist of what I wanted to see wrestling games do. When I mentioned TNA, almost half the people who talked to me had absolutely no idea what TNA was like, so I decided to play it again and do a quick run though. In other words, another quick review. Don't like it, but there's not much to this game.

What did the boot say to the face?

I said I wanted a change in controls that makes things simpler in my wishlist, but I forgot to mention that only applies to the WWE games because TNA is the first wrestling game in a long time to actually get it right. By my third match I knew exactly what to do without having to look at the tutorial videos. Face buttons do the attacks (except B), RB reverses, RT runs, B is your action button (climb shit, pick up weapons, etc.) LB is your modifier, and the right stick changes which wrestler you look at. Simple. I didn't really have to think about which buttons I was pressing in order to do stuff. Another thing TNA does well is its fluid motions. Everything seems to move so realistically and quickly. It doesn't look like people at snapping into place to do something. In other words, people won't magically appear behind someone or magnetically clothesline in mid-air or something of that nature. It's pretty impressive how they pulled it off, but I don't think most people would notice unless you played the Smackdown series for a long time. Still, most people would like it. Alot of people who did play the game don't like the fact that there are only 25 wrestlers, but frankly I could care less. Even with a expansive roster, people only pick like 7 wrestlers to play with, so basically they're only complaining about the lack of people they get to beat up. One of the coolest things this game has going for it is its reversal system. Almost every move is reversable; even some reverses can be reversed, and it's cool to see how long you can keep the chain going before you have to stop.

Impressive Dropkick

As impressive as the new wrestling is, there's nothing to do with it. Once you go through Story mode, there's not much to do here except go online if you can. There aren't that many match types: just normal, tag, 3-way, maybe handicap, and ultimate X (normal or 3-way). You mean to tell me you couldn't throw a cage match into the picture? And how about barbwire massacre? Make them bleed. Speaking of which, there's no blood. Boooo. Even worse it that the only weapon is the chair. No ladders, no tables, no nothing. That is ass as hell. Probably the biggest problem with TNA is the lack of moves. They're aren't that many moves in this game, so everybody pretty much have the same movelist, and when that happens, there's no reason not to just randomly select a guy to play with. What's the point if everybody plays the same? Shit, I've played Dragonball Z games with more variety than this (DBZ fans know what I'm talking about). And don't think I don't know what you did with the downloadable wrestlers, Midway. You purposely left Curry Man and Petey Williams out so you can say you got people to download. You think you real slick, huh?
[Unrelated] - Speaking of downloadable content, SmackdownvsRaw 2009 finally released their roster update, and it's so not worth the 320 points unless you're an Evan Bourne fan. 2 of the people in the update have already been released by the WWE. Why not do Primo?

One of my personal favorites, Suicide

It's like 20 bucks now, so if you decide to get it and don't like, you won't lose much. Still though, this game is so bare I'm surprised they let this out the door, and even more surprised it didn't get arrested for indecent exposure. I feel sorry for anyone who actually paid $60 for this because I for one would have felt cheated.

NOTE: I not doing a fucking review for Guitar Hero: Metallica. Why? Because it's fuckin Guitar Hero; you already know how it is. They haven't changed their formula in like 9 years. Besides, the day I paid 60 bucks for a expansion pack is the day I stick my dick in a beehive and squirt.