StokEd

I think for the past...what..5 reviews I've been doing requests for games I've had maybe a little interest in or in the case of TNA shit I've already played and had to go out and buy it again just for the sake of reminding me what it was like, which feels like a waste of money, but fuck it; it's done. I've spoiled you people (What do you mean 'you people'!?) long enough so now it's time do a game that I'm interested in, and that's where StokEd comes in. This is gonna be a hard game to review not because I don't know what to say or how to classify this game, but because as we speak I'm playing the game, and typing while shredding isn't exactly easy to d......dammit I ran into a tree.

Ummmm........Killer?

StokEd is all about the back country; no parks allow. There's nothing but trees and rocks (and the occasional house). You would think that it would make the mountains less fun to ride, and in a way it does, but that doesn't kill the experience in any way. It's fun to careen downhill into a forest hoping you don't hit a tree on the way down. Hope is pointless because you usually do, but its fun nevertheless. When you pick one of the 5 mountains (2 of them are locked in the beginning) you can start from a number of drop zones and make your way down the mountain, completeing challenges on the way. My only complaint about this is that you can't start at the very top and decide which way you want to go, or at least not on all of them. There's this feature where the weather changes on the mountains, but I have yet to noticed any real changes in gameplay except you may move a little slower in knee deep snow.

Zero Points? You Suck!

The controls mimic those of Skate: you use the trigger and the analog to do grabs, grind (jib in snowboarding terms) by jumping on the surface, and....and....huh, I guess that's it. Okay then. The game does award bonus moves or skills depending on how you ride. Are you a hucker or a stylist? Huckers do as many moves as the can before they land. Stylist riders concentrate on one move at a time and land it nicely. Huck enough and you can do moves faster. Style a lot and you can unlocked tweaked moves (tweaked moves are standard moves with extra flair). If you're like me, huck away.

Still no points, huh?

The main goal in this game is to become a pro, and to do that you have to complete challenges set by people who have nothing better to do but stay outside all day in the freakin freezing mountain waiting for someone to come at meet the challange. The challenges start off slow and kinda boring, but once you get sponsored, challenges come in left and right and are a real test of skill. You may have to check your move list several hundred times, but it's all good. These challenge are not easy, at least at first, and doing competitions are increasingly difficult, but with great difficulty comes great satifaction (Nobody compare that last sentence to Spider-man, and if your saying "Huh? How is that related to Spider-man?", then you're doing alright. Keep it up.)

See, if you keep landing on your head, you won't score any points

Ummm...that's it. Yea. That's all I have to say. Hmmm, thought I would have more to say. It's an excellent game is you like snowboarding, and for $40 it's a good deal. Hmmm....you know, it feels like I'm not using enough space. I mean this is short even by my lazy ass standards. I feel like I need to fill the void with something. Oh, the soundtrack features a bunch of no-name talent that does a good job capturing the feel of the game, and it's a extensive list of songs. What else; what else? The graphics are ok, but not Xbox360 wow, but for 40 bucks what did you expect? I guess friends can ride online. Oh, one thing I think is missing would be a race mode. I like racing on snowboards (thanks to 1080 on the N64) so that would have been cool. Ummm......fuck it; I said all I can say. Just buy the damn thing.


NOTE: I heard Ciera is back now. Good to know. Also, I could use some dough for a project I have planned for this blog, so if ya can hook me up, that'd be nice. I'm only asking friends because I don't want assholes stealing my identity. I heard this one guy gave out some small info so people could donate to his blog (forgot the website) and he wound up in $56,000 worth of debt. That sucks. That's also why I don't put ads on my sites. Who are these people paying me? How much info do they need? How do I know I'm not actually paying them? See, you got to be careful with this kind of stuff; they can get you anyway they can. Never give information over the phone either unless it's recorded. If you're wondering, Yes! I'm padding this note to make up for the shortness of my review. So what? Fuck you.