Def Jam Icon

I noticed that my reviews are getting shorter, but that's because there wasn't much for me to say about the games. Well people this will be another short one because there's not much to say about this game either; a game you can find in a bin for maybe 10 bucks. It's a shame how bad this one turn out because the last 2 Def Jam games kicked ass, especially Fight for NY when they took the series outside of wrestling and into streetfighting (well mixed martial arts when you think about it. Some cats were doing kung fu). Sadly the team who made the first 2 games didn't make this one. In fact, this game was made by the now closed EA Chicago, the same team that made the Fight Night boxing series. That makes this game even sadder since Fight Night also kicks ass. This game is a perfect example of good concept, bad execution, pissed off reviewer.

The game's story mode starts off with a guy (which you will create) kicking ass in a club. Apparently, your random act of violence caught the attention of Def Jam head brass and they decide to hire you. You help with the recruitment of artists to the record label by preforming more random acts of violence until you get a promotion. Then, you control the management of the artists: increase money for promotion, random acts of violence, CD copies, random acts of violence, PR, random acts of violence, random acts of violence, all that shit. The management is simple, but every once in a while (meaning always) you have to bash someone's skull to get what you want.

Nutcracker: the new album by T.I.

Where Icon innovates is its used of music as a weapon. The stages you will be fighting on all move to the beat of the music, so at certain points of the song you can throw your opponent by one of the environmental hazards and wait for the bass to knock. For example, let's say one of the hazards are gas pumps that explodes. Let's say the song you're fighting to is the Game "One blood" featuring....some guy whose name I forget (some research, huh?) You know that the gas pumps (in fact all the hazards on the stages attack at the same time) explodes every time dudeman said "One blooood" in the chorus. You could throw your opponent or knock him into the hazards around that time for him to get smacked. Don't wanna wait till the beat drops? You can control the beat with the game's DJ controls. Hold the left trigger and rotate the right analog stick to watch your guy spin some invisible records that apparently only he can see and touch (DJ Casper). Once he's done, the beat will break and the hazards will activate, kicking any ass in their way. This does alot less damage than waiting for the beat to break by itself, but good when someone is hanging around the danger area. To change the song, Hold the left trigger and rotate the LEFT analog stick first. Then he will switch hands and you can rotate with the right stick to change the song and activate the hazards. What's so important about the songs? If the song you picked is playing, you will do more damage to your opponent.

Only rappers would use a helicopter during a recession

All of this sounds good, right? Well, that's pretty much your whole offense: grab the guy, throw him somewhere, watch him get smacked by music. Punches and kicks (assigned to the buttons) are weak, useless, and don't open up for combos. In fact, there are no combos. Takedowns suck. They're always a suplex or leg sweep. You only good attacks come from rotating the right stick in certain directions (like in Fight Night) to knock ur opponent down, maybe into a hazard. It also doesn't help that the game moves slow as fuck. Everybody has like 1 of 3 fighting styles so there's little to no orginality between artists (just like in real life. Read my post on Neil's blog). Speaking of artists...besides TI, Big Boi, Ludacris, and Method Man, the list of fighters are a who's who's list of who really gives a fuck. Online is a bitch! It takes forever for the game to recognize and register my attacks. I press X and 2 seconds later my guy finally throws a punch. Are you fuckin kidding me? Besides the story mode and online, there ain't shit to do. I know fighting games are mainly 2 player games, but jesus christ guy you could have thrown something down. The Xbox360 version TECHNICALLY can use the music stored in your hard drive to fight, but it sucks at recognizing the beat break, so the hazards pretty much respond at random. Then again, maybe it's your own damn fault for playing the Pussycat Dolls.

No wonder gas prices are so high in Atlanta. Assholes!

Another review, another short one. This game aint worth the 10 bucks I stole to buy this game. As a music game it has some fresh ideas, but since this is a fighting game its a pile of shit. Alot of people think the music and the way it's implemented is reason enough to check it out, but let me hit you with this analogy. Let's say a dog takes a shit on the sidewalk and in his shit is a shiny gold ring. It's still a good ring and can even fetch you a pretty penny or two, but you'll probably not go near it because IT'S SURROUNDED BY SHIT! After looking at this game for a long while, EA went to Chicago and said "Apparently you guys don't know what you're doing so we're closing you down." All well; that's business. If you're really desperate, you can always get a job by random acts of violence. That seems to work. Also, why is it that when I kick someone's ass, they don't go on the radio and talk shit about it. That's all rappers do nowadays: talk shit. At lease let me make a mixtape or something (I'd call it "Random Acts of Violence").

NOTE: Who did I get the $10 from? I got it from your sister while she was asleep in my bed (OOOOOOOOOH!).