Afro Samurai

"The Number One headband; symbol of the greatest fighter alive, whose form and skill transcends all to become a work of art, a prayer; he who wears it shall rule mankind as a god. Only the warrior who wears the Number Two headband has the right to challenge the Number One for the sacred powers he possesses, or so the legend goes." (Manual page 2). The hit mini-series gets it own game that follows the events of the first season of Afro Samurai while having the player hack through a legion of people Afro must have pissed off at one time or another. Although the hacky slashy is good mindless fun, there are some mean drawbacks that prevent me from recommending this game at full price unless you have a creepy fetish for afros.

Challenge me, when you're ready to duel a God.

As a boy, Afro witnessed the murder of his father by the hands of Justice (the man in the picture above) for the Number One headband. Now an adult, Afro is the Number Two and is on a quest to get revenge against the man who killed him. I won't go any further with the plot because that's half the fun, but if you saw the mini-series, there are moments in the game that'll make you scatch your head. The story has been altered a bit to benefit the game, and some of the changes are understandable, but sometimes I had to pop in the show's DVD just to make sure I wasn't crazy. You won't see alot of big "Hold up; that aint right" moments, but some of them will leave you confused.

Stripper ninjas...AWESOME!

The combat is your standard button mashing: X to slash across, Y to slash up/down, B to kick, A to jump, RT to block. So far so standard. What this game does do differently is its perfect slice mechanic. Hold the left trigger to slow down time then hold the X or Y button till this little shiny shimmer reaches the tip of the sword and then release the button. If it connects with the enemy, he/she/they will be sliced. The cool part about it is that it will slice the enemy exactly how you cut them. No pre-rendered moves or cuts. The wound will follow the exact path of the sword. So If you cut the enemy diagonally in the arm, it will fall off diagonally. Awesome. Don't think that will work every time. Some enemies will dodge your slice if you don't set them up first or catch them off guard. Some enemies are just too big and strong or excellent blockers (or both) and can't be taken down with one hit. Even if you can take them out, you better not get hit by anybody else who might be on the field because it will cancel your slice attack. Also it doesn't work on bosses so don't try it. Even as a button masher, it's not exactly easy. The enemies will try to dodge and counter-attack, especially the ninjas. After a while you have to learn how to get around attack patterns because XXXXXXX will only take you so far. Your biggest enemy in this game though will be the camera which always seems to fuck with you. First of all, the camera might be too close to Afro and it's hard to see everything. Secondly, you're constantly rotating the bitch to try to get the best view because the best view is never presented to you. Lastly, the camera really like to go schizo when you're facing bosses, and the boss battles are really bullshitty. The bosses are frustrating enough without having the camera messing up.

Now that's just disrespectful

Even if the gameplay were to suck balls, I would still play this for 2 reasons: the soundtrack and Ninja Ninja. The game music is mostly composed by the RZA of the Wu-Tang Clan (aint nothing to fuck with) is a sweet blend of hip-hop and traditional Japanese music, and not only does it fit the action onscreen, it's just sounds awesome. The music alone made me want to give this game a try. Then there's Ninja Ninja: Afro's imaginary friend. This dude is funny as all hell. "Thinking about your father, huh? Which part...the head or the body?" Or how about when the woman Afro loved died? "If every girl I've ever stuck my dick in died a few hours later, I'd put that shit in my resume`" This dude is always ripping Afro about something, and it is always funny.

The next Karate Kid

This is good mindless fun, but the camera and cheap bosses keeps this from being something great. Just like Prince of Persia, it's best to wait for the price to go down. That way you don't feel cheated out of $60 bucks. If you're an Afro Samurai fan, this game adds nothing to the story and may even confuse you a bit, especially when he finally confronts Justice. If there's one thing I learned, the world would be much better with more Ninja Ninjas in it.


NOTE: Yes, there really are stripper ninjas in this game.